Work has been busy. Almost every day, I do overtime. At one time, I worried about losing overtime.
“You’re crazy,” everyone said. “Look how much inventory we have.”
And we do. We have a lot, and it doesn’t seem to be getting to the levels where management would like it at.
So I do overtime. Not as much as before Vincent. But still, it is almost an everyday thing for me, and it’s still more than quite a few people I know. For me to not to do it is unusual. I have debts I want to pay off, a house I’d like to make my own.
This week, because I’ve been so stressed and not feeling well, Jim and I agreed that financially, it would not hurt us for me to take a week off from overtime. (With the exception of today because it was Divisional Saturday.)
I kept thinking all week that I didn’t really feel any less stressed, and all I could think of was the money I wasn’t making. But I did enjoy the extra time with Vincent in the mornings, the extra sleep I got. I did feel better that way.
Until today. Today, I suddenly wished I hadn’t gotten that extra sleep. (I will never be sorry for the extra time with Vincent, not for all the money in the world.) Because today, we got an email saying to work overtime while we could as overtime opportunities would be ending soon.
And it sounds like it’s in, like, two weeks.
I texted a friend, and at first he was surprised, then he reminded me of how they were outsourcing our easier work. Except that he didn’t really have to remind me. It’s been in my mind a long time. I just didn’t realize they were going to do it so soon.
So after I did overtime today, I took the dog out, then went for a walk to think about things. The last time we lost overtime, we started burning through our savings fast. And back then, I didn’t have a kid and a mortgage. I didn’t have medical bills that I had put onto credit cards.
At least my car is paid off now.
Before, I knew it was probably only going to be a matter of time before overtime came back, and I was right. This time, I’m not so sure. Because our inventory is high and they’re still going to get rid of it. Because, this time, they’re actually outsourcing some of work. That’s something they’ve never done before.
Sometimes, I wonder how Jim and I don’t get ahead more. We don’t go out and do much. We’re always saying, “No, we can’t, we don’t have the money.” I see people who have far less money doing far more. I suspect that is why they have far less. At least they’re having fun. We don’t have fun or money–how does that even work?
I love my husband, but man, right now, I really envy my friends who have husbands with jobs. But if he worked, it would mean Vincent would go into daycare, and whatever Jim made would just go to paying day care anyway. He could work nights, but I suspect Jim won’t do that unless it gets dire. Jim’s first go-to line when money gets tight is “I’ll get grocery bills down.” And he’ll buy a couple weeks of groceries and be happy about how little he has spent, but the truth is that he rarely actually buys two weeks worth of groceries–we always don’t have enough of something and have to go back to the store to buy more.
The second line that Jim will say is “I will crack down with my writing and try to get some money in.”
Every time I hear this, I think lolz. Which is bad because I don’t even TEXT lolz. But, seriously, this is akin to “I’ll become a rock star and then help with rent.” Jim has had a few things published, but almost none of them were paying. I’m supportive of his wanting to become a writer, but when bills need to be paid, you don’t turn to the career that everyone struggles to even fill their gas tank with, you find something dependable and do writing on the side. I thought everyone knew this?
What I need to hear is “I’m going to pick up some applications.”
Like, seriously, it doesn’t have to be full time. Just a few nights a week.
Oh, well. I guess I’ll more time to do other stuff. Maybe I’ll pick up some applications myself.