springading.com

Hello! This is gonna be fast because it’s past my bedtime–and ask Jim, I’m very serious about my bedtime–but before that, I’m gonna sum up the week, just so I don’t forget. So, since the last post:

• Jim and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary. We both got each other books, in keeping with it being the “paper” anniversary and all, and I also got Jim this recipe shaker from Target.
• We also went to The Hideout for our anniversary. Sadly, they’re not as good as they used to be. Seriously, only two types of soup? What the…? Next year, it’ll be Red Lobster. Or O’Charley’s. I love O’Charley’s.
• Speaking of going out to eat, Jim’s dad and step-mom also took us out for dinner for our anniversary. I wasn’t expecting that, but I wasn’t complaining either!
• I’m almost completely done with season 8 of Buffy, which is the comics, for those not in the know. I’m enjoying them, but they’re definitely not as good as the show. And some of the things that have happened…wow. Gag. And huh. And tear. No spoilers here, though, especially since Jim isn’t caught up.
• We had a pot luck at work because one of our co-workers got custody of her grandson. Yay for that! And also, yay for food!
• I started on Jim’s amigurumi kobold. I’m not very far, and I’m kind of making it up as I go along. Here’s hoping it isn’t terrible, since amigurumi is still pretty new to me.
• Friday night, I joined Jim’s Spelljammer game. My character is a level 5 half-orc cleric whose god is Wee Jas. I took domains in Death and Magic. As expected, it was a little awkward, since I’m not very social and all, but it was okay. Hopefully, I’ll be of some use to the group.

On that note, I’ve been trying to think of ways to access my spell list more quickly. When I played Natalia in the “Homebrewed” campaign, I vowed that I would use notecards in the future, so this time, I had just about all the spells that my cleric was capable of casting written down on 3×5 cards. I used all the cards and went through three pens, even.

Guess what? I don’t think they’re going to work. They were great for the magic items I had in the last game, but for a 3rd edition game, it’s becoming clear that the notecards are way too cumbersome for an entire spell list. There are just too many freakin’ spells. Ideally, I would have a tablet or a small laptop, but I have neither of those things. (Well, I do have the laptop I’m writing on, but this laptop is too big and would probably just overheat in the middle of using it anyway.) But I have another idea that I think is going to work. Once I’m done, I’ll let ya know.

That’s all for now. Seriously, it’s time for bed. Good night!

Well, I’m in a good mood. For one, Jim finally caved and went to the doctor. The diagnosis? Pneumonia. I’m not allowed to mention this on Facebook, by the way. I did have it up for 5 minutes for those who knew Jim was sick, figuring it was a quick way to give everyone an update. (Also, to gloat. After all, I was right that he was sick enough to go to the doctor!) However, Jim made me take the status down, stating that it would just freak his mother out.

Which…well, yeah, probably. Let’s just say Jim gets his drama from somewhere, heh.

Anyway, I’m not happy about Jim being sick, but I am happy that he went to the doctor, got some medicine, and is starting to seem like he’s feeling better.

I’m also happy because we got our tax refund! This is the first year that we did our taxes earlier than usual, albeit just a couple weeks, and we already have it! And it’s just in time because we’re planning on going up north in a few weeks to Medieval Times and to see my family. Hopefully, I’ll see these two:

Lily and Isaiah

The little girl is my niece Amber’s daughter Lily (the one who was born on the day before my birthday, on my dad’s birthday), and the little boy, Isaiah, belongs to my niece Jasmine. I’ve only seen Isaiah a couple of times, and I’ve yet to meet Lily at all. I’m hoping I will on this trip.

And then, of course, there are Jen’s kids! My most favorite kids in the whole world. I hope to see them as well.

At any rate, I seriously doubt we’re going to spend the entire tax refund while up north. I thought Jim and I would stay out of town for a while, but as we talk, I’m starting to get the impression that we’ll end up drifting back down here after a few days. We were talking about our honeymoon last year, and do you know what we both liked the most about it? All the napping we got to do! Heh. Yeah, and you don’t need to be out of town to do that.

Speaking of our honeymoon…our one year anniversary is coming up. Guess part of the tax refund will be spent getting Jim a present, huh?

At any rate, I seriously doubt we’re going to blow the whole refund up north, so I’ve been looking around the apartment, trying to decide what I want. The first thing that always pops into my mind, of course, is getting a new computer. Just last night, this laptop overheated while I had Word open, reading Jim’s story. Freaking Word, guys. I used to think it was Warcraft that was overheating my computer, but now, I’m convinced that it’s my computer overheating my computer.

I’d also like some end tables…maybe some furniture for our balcony…maybe an iPod because my MP3 player is almost full…and of course, the obligatory CDs, since I listen to music all day at work and always need something new in the mix. But I don’t know what we’re going to get. I’m not even for sure what Jim has in mind. So we shall see!

If you’re curious about the title of the post, it’s derived from the fact that I’m on Vicodin that the very nice dentist man gave me. Ah, yes, what seems to be my yearly tooth extraction. If I keep this up, I will have no teeth left. Hopefully, I’ll have no more infections, either.

Anyway. Forget that. I’m just following up to the last post because now I have pictures. Check this out!

Jim flipping through Expressions literary magazine, talking with Walter.

Jim getting his Best in Fiction award.

Jim and my lovely mother-in-law Lori.

Jim received his Best in Fiction award for his short story “Bad Men” in Expressions literary magazine. If you’re curious as to why the first picture is cropped, that’s because Walter, Jim’s friend/classmate and recipient of Best in Poetry, has been cut out. I don’t know the dude, so I don’t want to assume that he’s okay being posted on a public blog somewhere.

Now, you might be wondering…why would I post a picture of Jim’s mom, then? Well, because I do know her–and she’s absolutely, hands-down, the LEAST shy person I’ve ever known. Ever. EVER.

Plus, she looks totally cute in that picture. And proud. And she should be. Cool factors that were found out during the ceremony: One professor who had never met Jim before had already heard of him. How? Because when she gave an assignment to her students for them to bring in their favorite poems, one of Jim’s former classmates brought in a poem he wrote last semester. Even the department chair mentioned how “now [he had] finally met the famous Jim Stearns.”

I’m happy my mother-in-law took pictures, since I was unable to go. Curse me and that whole paying-the-bills thing.

Okay, the next post won’t be bragging about my husband, I swear.

I better hurry up and post this while Jim is too distracted to notice!

So, on Monday, Jim got an e-mail that not only did he get a story published in Expressions (his college’s literary magazine), BUT his story was voted Best in Fiction! He’s getting a small monetary reward and he’s reading an excerpt tomorrow.

I just hope his voice clears up a bit before he does his reading. He’s been sick since the weekend, and he sounds awful.

But still! My husband! Best in Fiction! NOT SURPRISED.

No, today is not one of those “official” days where it’s calling awareness to mental health. “Mental health day” is my mental health day, a day I’ve taken off to preserve my sanity. Thanks to a mild winter, all those PTO days that I was hording to use as snow days are going to be used as good, old-fashioned days off instead.

Today is one of them.

I decided to do this last week as I was put on the hotline yet again. I was stressed, and I decided I needed a break.

A more permanent (mental) break, though, seems to finally be coming. Last week, I was approached by my supervisor. They had selected a few written CAs to be protected from the hotline. This is in attempt to sort of wean the phone unit off using the written unit to keep their numbers down. (They have gotten a bunch of new people, after all. The fact they’ve needed us for so long is kind of alarming.) The people chosen to be protected from the hotline were based on stats–whoever had the highest quality and production.

Guess who was one of the selected?

(Watch me get jinxed for mentioning this and get an error now.)

Anyway, that is all well and good, but I’m even happier that on Tuesday, we got notice that they were pulling all but 15 people off the phones to focus on–gasp!–our actual work: WRITTEN. Heh. That means that more of my co-workers (but still not all) are now off, too. Since I like my co-workers, I’m happy that they’re also getting protected from the hotline.

So, we appear to be at the end of the tunnel, looking at that light. Remember when I used to like my job? Yeah, it looks like I’ll be going back to my regular duties and back to loving my job again.

There has been all sorts of awesome in the last week. Aside from finding out that my job wouldn’t suck for much longer, we finally got our car back, and the mechanic didn’t charge us for the deductible! So that money I had squirreled away for that–totally ours now! Also, we had a dent in our rear bumper that was completely unrelated to Jim’s accident. Well, apparently, the mechanic noticed it and popped it out. It’s barely noticeable now. And we weren’t charged for that either!

To say that I’m going to be recommending this guy to everyone I know is an understatement.

In addition to having money in our pockets from saving on the deductible, Friday was THE payday–the one that included our new raises, as well as our gainsharing checks. And it was AWESOME. The amount of gainsharing you get is dependent on stats and how much overtime you’ve put in over the year. As you can imagine, my gainsharing was pretty freakin’ sweet.

So, that Friday morning, Jim took the car because he had decided to use some of that money to complete our Stargate collection. When I got off work, I added to our DVD collection with the first season of Game of Thrones. I also picked up a  Lacuna Coil CD and Skyrim.

Ladies and gentlemen…we now have a new obsession in the house.

Okay, I can’t tell you a whole lot about it. My character just finally got up to level three. I can tell you that I’ve seen enough to realize that this was the game for the XBox 360 that I’ve been looking for.

However, I haven’t had a chance to play it much. Jim, who was originally completely uninterested in it, is now completely addicted, heh.

In Jim’s defense, I really don’t like playing on the XBox with other people around. I don’t know why. I just don’t like being watched. And since this is a tiny apartment, and Jim pretty much only likes to hang around the living room…you see why I haven’t been playing as much. Jim has been good about consistently offering me a chance at the XBox, and I’ve been declining, spending my time poring through the book I bought for Skyrim instead. I’m a total Virgo in that regard: I’m one of those people who really like to read things like manuals. And if a game has a training mode, so much the better. I don’t like going into something without knowing what I’m doing. I don’t like to “wing” it.

(Incidentally, this is why I really only liked to do spur-of-the-moment dungeon runs in Warcraft with my friends. Kyle always explained what to expect and the best strategies to employ. Most pugs I’ve seen are just crazy, random killing sprees. Ugh.)

Anyway, as you can imagine, most of my mental health day (“stay home or go crazy!”) will probably be dedicated to Skyrim, since Jim plans on spending most of his afternoon playing Warhammer with his friends. I’m pretty excited. The world in this game is just massive, and it looks like there’s a lot to do. I still suck at it, but at least I can walk around without slamming into walls now, heh.

Well, mostly. Hey, I never played the XBox much, so I’m still getting used to the controller.

Still, even just starting out my first character, I’m already thinking of other characters I’d like to try. The character I have now is a high elf mage. She’s going to be pure mage, I think. The book I bought has “archetypes” of characters listed as possible characters to try. One I have my eye on to try down the road is an orc berserker. That totally looks fun.

Speaking of this thing we call “fun,” I think I’m going to go have it!

So this week, I’ve:

• Started crocheting a tiny cthulhu, frogged it, restarted it, and am still working on it as I need supplies.
• Been getting rides to and from work all week while my car was (and still is, apparently) in the shop.
• Found out some of my co-workers in Harrisburg are dealing with the aftermath from the F4 tornado.
• Had to take cover in the women’s bathroom at work as more bad storms passed through the area just a couple days later.
• Found out that my raise was bigger than I had expected, and my gainsharing was more than I had expected as well. (Jim and I did fist bumps when I showed him the numbers, heh.)
• Found out that my mom lost her job. (She seems to be surprisingly okay with it, though.)
• Been doing a lot of reading on my Kindle, trying to catch up with our book club.

By the way, I love my Kindle. I still and always will love regular old books, but now I’m wondering why I held out so long on getting an ebook reader.

And The Walking Dead tonight! My co-worker Ryan told me some of his predictions on the fate of a couple of characters, and I’m curious to see it is plays out as he thinks. I relayed Ryan’s predictions to Jim, and we agree: Very plausible.

We shall see.

Okay, time for more coffee and more Buffy. The marathon continues! I’m on season 4. Now, the question is, do I watch the Angel episodes along with Buffy (because, as you know, several the episodes between the two series “go” together), or do I later give Angel its own marathon? Ah, decisions, decisions…

I’m getting very bad about updating, I know. And at first, I started to tell you why (mostly, because I get annoyed at squinting at the screen–my Internet surfing has dropped dramatically as my eyes get worse, let me tell you), but I’ve decided to pitch it. You don’t need to know how much my eyes suck. Just know that they do. They really, really do.

So. A couple days ago was Valentine’s Day. There are some people who complain about it being too commercialized, that it’s just some stupid gimmick for Hallmark to make money. To those people, I say you’ve forgotten the real importance of Valentine’s Day. Or, at least, the importance to me. Wanna know what that is?

It’s a day to cheat on your diet. 

So, yeah, nay-sayers. Shut up. It doesn’t matter who buys you chocolate! Buy it for yourself! Valentine’s Day is an excuse to gorge! Who cares who invented it?

Oh, yeah, and don’t forget to tell someone you love them while stuffing your face. There’s that aspect as well. It can be your dog, though. Hallmark doesn’t judge.

Anyway. Besides chocolate, Jim got me the third volume of the Buffy comics. Turns out, we also had the first and second ones here, but I did not know this. HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS? Apparently, Jim brought them into the relationship and forgot he had them. I’d divorce him for forgetting to tell me, but I’m afraid he’ll take them with him. So I just hog his comics instead.

And his chocolates.

I bought Jim the complete collection of H.P. Lovecraft. Should keep him busy for a while, I think. It’s a pretty big book that would take anyone else forever to read. So for Jim? He’ll probably have it done in a week, once he starts reading it.

Anyway, on Valentine’s Day, Jim and I went to Evelyn’s, which was short-staffed but was still sooo good, and then we went to Walmart and picked up Serenity and Stargate: Season 1. I was excited about Serenity, since I’ve been wanting it for a long time. Admittedly, it was nice to finally get something “frivolous.”

I’ve been thinking about this lately, actually. One of my friends at work told me that I needed to learn to be frivolous sometimes. This is because…well, truth be told, I’m a bit of a tightwad with money. True story. Anything that is not in the food or bills categories gets deemed “non-essential” and I refuse to spend money on it. This is why I haven’t gotten my hair cut since my wedding (why should I PAY someone to TAKE my hair?) and why just about all my clothes have holes in them. Even when I buy yarn, it’s in small amounts to make functional things like dishcloths and beds for the cats.

Luckily, Jim got his loan money in and is able to help out with gas and groceries, allowing me to knock out the car stuff with my check. (The mechanic has ordered the parts! Can’t wait until my girl has her whole face back!) He should be getting paid for painting those Warhammer figures, he’s insisting I take half of it, and he’s suggested that I get a Kindle. (Not sure if it’s really going to help with my reading-on-the-screen issues, but it would be nice to have.) Soon after, we should be getting our raises at work (my review was good!) and our gainsharing checks. I’m hoping to put this check toward a new computer because this laptop, I’m afraid, is on its way out. Although, if I get a new computer, I’m thinking it better have a much bigger screen. Because of, you know, the eye problems.

Anyway, to me, that’s “frivolous,” since technically, my laptop hasn’t broken, and even if it had, it’s not like we couldn’t go to the library to use theirs. Although we can’t if we don’t want to kill someone. The library computers are absolutely awful. Someone remind me, if I’m ever a millionaire, to donate nice computers to our library.

But after that? My eye is on Medieval Times. And maybe even House on the Rock. The ultimate in frivolity. And I will totally get there. Who says I don’t have goals?

Jim started a new blog last week. In his last post, he mentioned I haven’t been writing as much on my own blog. I guess that’s a hint.

So, here’s a new post to prove I’m still around. Nothing much going on. Still working a lot, still getting put on the phones most days, although it is finally slowing down, and Fridays are pretty much the days we don’t get put on at all. (Last week, we were only on for 20 minutes. THAT, I can handle.) Next week, we’re not supposed to sign in at all–they claim they’re going to try to keep us off the hotline. I’m not delusional; we’ll probably be put on. But I see this as progress. Calls are slowing down again.

And thank god. Being on the hotline so much has made me start disliking work, which has been pushing me toward depression. I don’t mind calls here and there, but for 6-8 hours a day? It just wears me out.

That, honestly, has been why I haven’t been around. Also, when Jim’s in school, I don’t have access to the laptop as much. Oh, and he’s also been working on his novel again. Not that I’m arguing. My vision has really been acting up, and squinting at a computer screen some more at home when I’ve been doing it all day just isn’t my idea of fun.

Honestly, I’m too tired to say much more, and I have Lexx waiting for me on my big screen TV. (Which, admittedly, is still kind of blurry. I’m going to make an appointment for new glasses this week.) So I’ll end this post with pictures, showing what 2012 is like so far:

Weird, the bread from my new bread machine is pretty much the same color as my cutting board.

I crocheted a dice bag for Jim. It has since been completed. He seems happy with it.

I made a "cat mat" for Piper, but at first, she wouldn't stay in it until I put it next to Emmy. Awww. She LOVES Emmy.

I found this in my lunch box on Monday. It's some sort of scroll thing. When I opened it up, I found that Jim had put a love poem in it. Sweetest thing ever.

Things I also did this week but don’t have pictures of: I got an award of appreciation for the massive amounts of overtime I did the last 6 months of 2011, along with a keychain. (Sounds lame, but I’ve actually been wanting a new keychain, so it works out. ) I also went to a visitation for Angela’s mom, who passed away last Sunday, and I went to an art exhibition where another friend was–is, actually, as it’s still going–a featured artist. I did both of these things on Friday night. I know. I’ve never done the “partying on Friday night” thing right. Oh, well. One day I’ll learn.

When did Pandora start displaying ads from Match.com on the right-hand side of the screen? How annoying. Especially when you’re a happily married woman. That’s just a recipe for trouble if your husband happens to walk by, sees the blissful expression on your face, and thinks it has to do with the guys on the screen.

No, honey, really, it’s Amy Lee’s voice that’s doing it for me!

Actually, I don’t know if that explanation would get me in any less trouble, heh.

Anyway. For someone who likes her life to be uneventful, there have been a lot of “events” around here. As promised, Tuesday was hellish. We were on the phones all day; queue times were crazy. Our work served pizza for lunch to help make the day more bearable. That would have been awesome, if I were not on a diet. While I do allow myself a “cheat day” once a week, Tuesday was not that day, and I was not wasting my cheat day for pizza at work. So I had to grit my teeth, take phone calls, and smell pizza I couldn’t have.

To make the day worse, it ended a text from Jim while I was rebooting my computer for something like the third time that day. I glanced at my phone. You’ll need to get a ride home. I’ve been in an accident. I’m okay.

Sigh. I got a ride home from Angela, which was fun, as I haven’t gotten to talk to her in a while. We pulled up in the parking lot and checked out the damage of my car.

My poor car. My cute, little car. Yeah. It’s not so cute right now. The passenger front below the headlight and along the right side over the tire are gone. Now the windshield wiper fluid tank and a tangle of wires around it and the headlight show for all the world to see. You know those sci-fi shows where there’s an android, all nice and human-looking, and the android inevitably gets injured so pieces of flesh go missing, so you see part human face, part scary robot face underneath? Yeah, my car reminds me of that. It’s kinda creepy, if I think about it too much.

Luckily, though, everyone’s okay. Most the damage was taken by our car. The other guy only got a broken finger, and Jim wasn’t hurt at all. With the exception of having to pay my deductible, insurance is paying for everything else. Jim, of course, feels terrible about the whole thing, but hey, when you drive around as much as he does, it’s bound to happen.

Also? This is what insurance is for. I’ve had my own car since I was 18 years old and have never filed a claim. As far as I’m concerned, this is kind of like the pay off for paying through the nose all these years. Kind of a crappy pay off, admittedly.   But still.

Oddly enough, while you would think I would be freaking out about money, I’ve decided that Jim and I should go out to dinner and a movie tonight. There’s nothing like a good, old-fashioned car accident to make you realize that life is short and that you spend too many days doing nothing, saving money for “someday,” when that elusive “someday” may never come. And it’s true: Jim and I rarely go out. Oh, we talk about it. We’ll be like, “Let’s go crazy! Let’s go out! Let’s cut loose and party!” And then we’ll go to Walmart and sulk around the aisles, knowing full well that we’re not going to buy a damned thing.

Tonight, though, it’s gonna be Mexican food and a movie! And it’s gonna be awesome. I’m glad I didn’t give my cheat day up on Tuesday for that stupid pizza. Even now, I’m pretty much skipping lunch to make sure I have plenty of calories to work with for dinner. And let me tell you, I am starving. The fact that I’m daydreaming about what I’ll order tonight is probably not helping.

I just gotta hang in there for three more hours. In just a little under three hours, Jim and I will be celebrating life with a plate of nachos.

Okay, for real? I’m going to find something else to do. Something that will keep my mind off food. Ugh, dieting. Wish me luck!

A few weeks ago, that’s what I told Phil several times: “I used to be a nice person.” Phil tried to tell me that I’ve always been nice to him, but I stand by what I said. I’m not as nice as I used to be, not since my divorce and getting stabbed in the back by both my ex-husband and a girl that I thought was my best friend. And I always blamed the fact that I was nice for that situation. In many ways, I brought it upon myself. There were things I figured out and noticed but was too nice to say.

Things have changed. My theories have changed. Being nice is usually just not saying stuff you’re thinking. Now, if I’m good friends with someone, they’re getting what I think. And it’s not always nice. But, still, the people I choose to say stuff around are people I know who won’t go repeating it.

I may not be as nice as I used to be, but I still don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

Which brings me to last night. If you told me five years ago, this would be the scene in my living room, this would be my reaction, I would have been surprised at my future self.

Here’s what happened: Jim and I went on a drive, which means he started talking about gaming, which means we always start talking about relationships with gamers, and, of course, the stereotype that most gamers hook up with other gamers because nobody outside of the gaming community would ever date them.

No, it’s not true in all cases. But it does have truth in others.

Anyway, Jim talked about one such girl where the stereotype did hold true. He couldn’t figure out why anyone would date her, as she was neither attractive nor nice. Apparently, she must have been really unattractive because Jim suddenly really wanted me to see a picture of her, just to show me what he had meant.

We broke out Google. Didn’t help much, as Jim couldn’t remember the girl’s real name, so he tried searching for her character’s name. Unfortunately, she doesn’t appear to be playing that character anymore, so we just kept pulling up pictures of some female wrestler instead.

One thing led to another. And, because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings–this blog is public, and you never know who is going to stumble upon it–I’ll leave out names and try to be kinda vague. But what Googling that one girl did was lead us into trying to Google for pictures of Jim’s old gaming group, just because he wanted me to see pictures of some of his old friends–and even enemies, in some cases.

In the end, we ended up at the Flickr page of one of the girls of his old group, a girl Jim thought might have had pictures of the old gaming crew, who, incidentally, is a girl that Jim used to like when he was younger. “I thought she was so hot,” he had told me before. It sounded like he had it pretty bad for her–for a short time, at least.

We pulled up her Flickr page, looking to see if she had old gaming pictures, but I caught sight of more recent pictures. “Wait. Is that the girl?”

Jim glanced at the profile picture, which appeared to be an older picture. I couldn’t really tell much from that picture because it was so small. “That’s her, up there,” he said. Then he glanced down at the more recent picture I had found. He stared. “Oh, my gooood…Oh my god. Yeah. That’s her.”

And then my reaction, the one that would have surprised the old me, the reaction that isn’t nice, but it is honest:

I pointed at the laptop.

I started laughing.

I started laughing so hard that I almost cried.

Jim just stared at the screen. “Wow. She’s gained weight. She is not aging well.”

“She looks like a sausage stuffed in a doily!” I gasped. “That’s the girl you thought was so hot?” To be fair, while Jim seemed to think she had gotten chubby, I didn’t think she was particularly overweight. She just didn’t look like she had a shape, and she was wearing this clingy dress that wasn’t flattering. Could just be the dress, though.

Also, if I wore that dress, I would look like a sausage in a doily too. The difference is that I know better than to wear a dress like that.

Then I started feeling bad about my reaction. I didn’t mean to have that reaction, though. It’s just you expect someone to look one way and when they look the complete opposite…Well, it just came out. And poor Jim was still staring at the computer, looking almost scared–which just made the whole scene funnier to me. “She aged horribly,” he kept saying. “Oh, my god. It’s like she gained a bunch of weight just under her CHIN. She looks BAD.”

And then I started howling with laughter. “You wanted to hit that!”

Jim, of course, got defensive, claiming she didn’t always look like that. We did find older pictures from when he knew her, where she looked less frightening, but still–she was never what anyone would call pretty. Jim looked kind of embarrassed when he realized that she was never exactly what he remembered her to be. “In my defense, I was, like, 18. I would have made a go at a table leg, if I thought I had a chance.”

It just goes to show that both love and lust are blind.

Afterward, I felt a little bad about it. At first, I thought it was because because the girl could be nice, for all I know, and  she could be someone that I might have liked. (Then I remembered stories Jim told about her. Nevermind. She certainly didn’t sound nice. At all.) I think I feel more bad about the look of horror on Jim’s face when he saw the pictures. I didn’t mean to embarrass him. But let’s be honest–not nice, mind you, but honest: Don’t most of us look at people we’ve been with or liked in the past and cringe? Don’t most of us look back and say to ourselves What the hell was I thinking?

I’ve offered to show Jim some of the guys I’ve been with before him. One of them is downright ugly. Unlike Jim, though, I never deluded myself into thinking he was good-looking. But the dark can make anyone look better, right? And I had a thought:

Somewhere out there, someone has probably thought the same thing about me.

And you know what? I’m okay with that. As long as I don’t have to hear about it, I hope they’re having a good laugh! Life’s too damn short to be nice all the time.