springading.com

Hello! This is gonna be fast because it’s past my bedtime–and ask Jim, I’m very serious about my bedtime–but before that, I’m gonna sum up the week, just so I don’t forget. So, since the last post:

• Jim and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary. We both got each other books, in keeping with it being the “paper” anniversary and all, and I also got Jim this recipe shaker from Target.
• We also went to The Hideout for our anniversary. Sadly, they’re not as good as they used to be. Seriously, only two types of soup? What the…? Next year, it’ll be Red Lobster. Or O’Charley’s. I love O’Charley’s.
• Speaking of going out to eat, Jim’s dad and step-mom also took us out for dinner for our anniversary. I wasn’t expecting that, but I wasn’t complaining either!
• I’m almost completely done with season 8 of Buffy, which is the comics, for those not in the know. I’m enjoying them, but they’re definitely not as good as the show. And some of the things that have happened…wow. Gag. And huh. And tear. No spoilers here, though, especially since Jim isn’t caught up.
• We had a pot luck at work because one of our co-workers got custody of her grandson. Yay for that! And also, yay for food!
• I started on Jim’s amigurumi kobold. I’m not very far, and I’m kind of making it up as I go along. Here’s hoping it isn’t terrible, since amigurumi is still pretty new to me.
• Friday night, I joined Jim’s Spelljammer game. My character is a level 5 half-orc cleric whose god is Wee Jas. I took domains in Death and Magic. As expected, it was a little awkward, since I’m not very social and all, but it was okay. Hopefully, I’ll be of some use to the group.

On that note, I’ve been trying to think of ways to access my spell list more quickly. When I played Natalia in the “Homebrewed” campaign, I vowed that I would use notecards in the future, so this time, I had just about all the spells that my cleric was capable of casting written down on 3×5 cards. I used all the cards and went through three pens, even.

Guess what? I don’t think they’re going to work. They were great for the magic items I had in the last game, but for a 3rd edition game, it’s becoming clear that the notecards are way too cumbersome for an entire spell list. There are just too many freakin’ spells. Ideally, I would have a tablet or a small laptop, but I have neither of those things. (Well, I do have the laptop I’m writing on, but this laptop is too big and would probably just overheat in the middle of using it anyway.) But I have another idea that I think is going to work. Once I’m done, I’ll let ya know.

That’s all for now. Seriously, it’s time for bed. Good night!

No, today is not one of those “official” days where it’s calling awareness to mental health. “Mental health day” is my mental health day, a day I’ve taken off to preserve my sanity. Thanks to a mild winter, all those PTO days that I was hording to use as snow days are going to be used as good, old-fashioned days off instead.

Today is one of them.

I decided to do this last week as I was put on the hotline yet again. I was stressed, and I decided I needed a break.

A more permanent (mental) break, though, seems to finally be coming. Last week, I was approached by my supervisor. They had selected a few written CAs to be protected from the hotline. This is in attempt to sort of wean the phone unit off using the written unit to keep their numbers down. (They have gotten a bunch of new people, after all. The fact they’ve needed us for so long is kind of alarming.) The people chosen to be protected from the hotline were based on stats–whoever had the highest quality and production.

Guess who was one of the selected?

(Watch me get jinxed for mentioning this and get an error now.)

Anyway, that is all well and good, but I’m even happier that on Tuesday, we got notice that they were pulling all but 15 people off the phones to focus on–gasp!–our actual work: WRITTEN. Heh. That means that more of my co-workers (but still not all) are now off, too. Since I like my co-workers, I’m happy that they’re also getting protected from the hotline.

So, we appear to be at the end of the tunnel, looking at that light. Remember when I used to like my job? Yeah, it looks like I’ll be going back to my regular duties and back to loving my job again.

There has been all sorts of awesome in the last week. Aside from finding out that my job wouldn’t suck for much longer, we finally got our car back, and the mechanic didn’t charge us for the deductible! So that money I had squirreled away for that–totally ours now! Also, we had a dent in our rear bumper that was completely unrelated to Jim’s accident. Well, apparently, the mechanic noticed it and popped it out. It’s barely noticeable now. And we weren’t charged for that either!

To say that I’m going to be recommending this guy to everyone I know is an understatement.

In addition to having money in our pockets from saving on the deductible, Friday was THE payday–the one that included our new raises, as well as our gainsharing checks. And it was AWESOME. The amount of gainsharing you get is dependent on stats and how much overtime you’ve put in over the year. As you can imagine, my gainsharing was pretty freakin’ sweet.

So, that Friday morning, Jim took the car because he had decided to use some of that money to complete our Stargate collection. When I got off work, I added to our DVD collection with the first season of Game of Thrones. I also picked up a  Lacuna Coil CD and Skyrim.

Ladies and gentlemen…we now have a new obsession in the house.

Okay, I can’t tell you a whole lot about it. My character just finally got up to level three. I can tell you that I’ve seen enough to realize that this was the game for the XBox 360 that I’ve been looking for.

However, I haven’t had a chance to play it much. Jim, who was originally completely uninterested in it, is now completely addicted, heh.

In Jim’s defense, I really don’t like playing on the XBox with other people around. I don’t know why. I just don’t like being watched. And since this is a tiny apartment, and Jim pretty much only likes to hang around the living room…you see why I haven’t been playing as much. Jim has been good about consistently offering me a chance at the XBox, and I’ve been declining, spending my time poring through the book I bought for Skyrim instead. I’m a total Virgo in that regard: I’m one of those people who really like to read things like manuals. And if a game has a training mode, so much the better. I don’t like going into something without knowing what I’m doing. I don’t like to “wing” it.

(Incidentally, this is why I really only liked to do spur-of-the-moment dungeon runs in Warcraft with my friends. Kyle always explained what to expect and the best strategies to employ. Most pugs I’ve seen are just crazy, random killing sprees. Ugh.)

Anyway, as you can imagine, most of my mental health day (“stay home or go crazy!”) will probably be dedicated to Skyrim, since Jim plans on spending most of his afternoon playing Warhammer with his friends. I’m pretty excited. The world in this game is just massive, and it looks like there’s a lot to do. I still suck at it, but at least I can walk around without slamming into walls now, heh.

Well, mostly. Hey, I never played the XBox much, so I’m still getting used to the controller.

Still, even just starting out my first character, I’m already thinking of other characters I’d like to try. The character I have now is a high elf mage. She’s going to be pure mage, I think. The book I bought has “archetypes” of characters listed as possible characters to try. One I have my eye on to try down the road is an orc berserker. That totally looks fun.

Speaking of this thing we call “fun,” I think I’m going to go have it!

There has been a lot going on this week that I was going to post, but I think it’s going to have to wait. Today is Joshua’s and Amber’s birthday, and it’s hitting me harder than I thought it would.

Joshua would have been 25 years old today. It’s a milestone I can’t help but feel he was cheated out of. And I worry that his sister Amber is always going to feel grief on her birthdays from now on. The thought of that just kills me. Her birthday should be joyous, a day about her. I know the first couple will be hard, but I hope it eventually becomes something wonderful again, something she doesn’t have to share with grief.

Today, though, I’m going to light a candle for Josh and play the hell out of Skyrim, which I bought on Friday. Joshua was very into video games. He actually had a collection of consoles. He had everything from the old school Atari to the newer Playstation 3 and XBox 360 and everything in between. Video games were something that he and I both really loved, so trust me when I say that Josh would approve my playing Skyrim.

Also trust me when I say that he would have been way better at it. For those of us who grew up with the simpler joysticks of the Atari and the original Nintendo, the XBox 360 controller is a little complicated. I really love the game so far, but I’m terrible at it. I hope wherever Josh is, he’s watching me and getting a damn good laugh!

I’m on my second cup of coffee, and I know I’m going to regret it later. The past week or so, ever since the scary symptoms I had a few weeks ago, I’ve been trying to monitor what I eat and drink, see what sets off alarms, and it seems that I’m getting reflux symptoms after caffeine. Still, it’s still early-ish, I’m tired, and I want to be coherent enough to write something before Jim gets up.

So, it’s been a week since the last post. In that time, I found that my work had ALL the wrong 2012 benefits listed for me (they basically had me listed has not having insurance at all for next year); I called the Employee Services people and gotten it corrected (our peeps are so nice, so that was a bonus); I got a small raise (WOOT); and I actually spent Saturday doing stuff.

This Saturday was so much busier than most Saturdays. I cannot lie: I pretty much do nothing on the weekends. Since Jim quit his job and went back to school full-time, I don’t even do laundry or shopping anymore. It was nerve-wracking at first, especially when bills were so tight, to turn shopping over to Jim. Still, I held back and told myself he had to learn how it worked.

And WOW. I’m so freakin’ proud. Jim struggled a little bit the first time, but he’s done great since. I always budget for $100 per week for groceries, which we never spend, but I rather overshoot. The last time he went groceries, he spent about $110. “Oh no,” I thought. “How could he go over budget?”

Um, no, Spring. That was $110 for two weeks worth of groceries.

Okay, I totally went on a tangent there. My point was, we had money left over to actually do stuff on Saturday.

First thing: Jim paid his dad back some of the money we owe him. I said that we actually had enough to pay his dad back completely, but Jim pointed out that we hadn’t even started Christmas shopping. There’s a good chance that we’ll be able to finish paying his dad off by January though.

Second, I had lunch with Tracy, Eva, and Darren at O’Charley’s yesterday. They’re some people I work with. We all used to sit by each other, but since then, Darren has been moved to a different unit, and Tracy and Eva were part of the lucky few to get selected to be able to work from home.

I was a little out of my element, since I’m so rarely social, but it was worth it, since I don’t get to see Tracy and Eva anymore. They’re doing great, loving being able to work from home. Yeah, if I ever get my own place around here, I’m totally going to look into doing that. But our work has very specific criteria your home has to meet before you can work from home, such as having your own office with locked drawers. (Keep in mind that we handle people’s personal information, so security is a must.) Needless to say, I have neither.

But I digress. Part of going out to lunch and catching up meant that I was caught up on office gossip. I know–it’s kinda weird that people who work from home know more about what’s going on at the office than I do. But at work, I pretty much keep my earbuds in all day and just work. I mean, that’s what I’m getting paid to do. So, no, I never know what’s going on. I got to learn all about it over a plate of nachos, who is getting divorced, who is having an affair with whom.

(I have to say, the big one that is apparently going around the office…it floored me because it involved someone that I would have never expected it from, someone I actually respected and thought was one of the nicest people in the world. Guess it goes to show that we’re all human, and even nice people occasionally will do awful things.)

Anyway, after lunch, I came home to Jim. We went to Hobby Lobby. I bought more yarn. YAY. Came home, played a little Fable 2. I’m FINALLY starting to get into it. The key? Actually learning what I was doing. Oh, I still don’t know totally what I’m doing, but I’m getting better, and it makes me enjoy the game more.

However, while I was playing the XBox, Jim started getting texts from his friend Ben, warning Jim that someone he detests has managed to weasel her way into their D&D group, despite Jim’s protests about her playing, despite the fact that she is very well aware that she’s not really wanted there. It would be one thing if Jim was the only one that dislikes her, but he isn’t. Not by a long shot. So Jim is pissed because, apparently, he’s the only one who has the backbone to tell her no (she originally tried to get into his Spelljammer game), and now he’s debating quitting the D&D game.

That bit of news put a damper on the evening. “Jim, let’s just do our own game when Matt’s is running,” I suggested.

“I want to play in a game, I don’t want to DM everthing!”

“Then teach me to DM!”

Jim just shot me a look. Even I knew that was a long shot. I get so self-conscious while playing. And I barely know how to play; DMing is a long ways off. As in, maybe in another lifetime…but certainly not this one.

Luckily, we were distracted by BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

“Are those drums?” I asked. We went to the window and looked toward the middle school. The band was out. “Hey–is today the Lights Fantastic Parade?”

It was, and we decided that was the perfect distraction for Jim’s gaming woes. We decided to walk, since it was in the 60s earlier that day. Maybe not the best idea, as the wind picked up by the time we got there. By the time we sat down, we were freezing.

The parade was…eh. What do you want? It’s not that big of a town. Also, the toddler behind me kept kicking me in the back. “Stop kicking the lady,” said the woman next to him, who, I deduced from the conversations I overheard, was his grandmother. His mom was on the other side and just ignored it completely. I gritted my teeth during the whole thing. Next year, we’ll bring chairs.

Anyway, during the parade, some girls were giving out flyers to a new restaurant called Evelyn’s on the strip. It looks like they’re just starting out–not a ton on the menu yet–and most of the menu was meat-based. I don’t think most soul food is vegetarian friendly, anyway. But while I’m no longer a vegetarian, I still don’t like a lot of meat.

(Sidenote: I don’t think I even mentioned the no-longer-a-vegetarian thing, did I? After being a vegetarian for 14 years, I’ve stopped. The reasons why I stopped is two fold: 1) we have saved money by having Jim and I eating the same meals–we simply couldn’t afford to keep doing it the way we were doing it, and Jim as not going to be a vegetarian, and 2) after the second miscarriage…well, I want to rule EVERYTHING out about why it’s happening. I know you can get enough protein being a vegetarian, but not the way I do it.)

Still, I don’t like much meat at all. Everyone acted like if I would “just eat a little bit of meat again,” it would all come flooding back and I’d be devouring every animal in sight. My cats would start to look good even, heh. But, nope. For the most part, I don’t like the taste of it. There was some meat on my nachos at my lunch with my co-workers (I immediately wished I had ordered it without), so I didn’t want any for dinner. I stuck with the mac ‘n’ cheese.

WOW. It was really good. It even rivaled my own macaroni and cheese, and I have to say–I make damn good mac ‘n’ cheese. (Two kinds, actually. The regular kind and the Tex Mex kind.) I can’t remember what Jim got, but he was shoveling it in so fast, I thought he was going to choke. “This is SO GOOD,” he said. “This is the BEST…Oh my god, we’ve got to come back.”

And we will. Providing that we can manage to keep funds up.

So, yeah, if you’re the Carbondale area, check out Evelyn’s, give ‘em your business. The service is really good, too.

Jim couldn’t eat everything, though (SO MUCH FOOD), so we walked home. By then, we were freezing because of the wind, and it started to drizzle by the time we made it back to our apartment. Jim hopped in the shower, and then he put in Carnivale, which we traded with his Aunt Donna for Justified. We watched the first two episodes of Carnivale, and I have to say, I think I’m going to like the series a lot. The cinematography is great, and it’s got…mood. I’m all over the moody stuff, heh.

Anyway, it’s after 11 now. I probably should see if Jim wants to wake up, since he doesn’t like to sleep in too late on the weekends. Not sure what we’ll be up to today. Sadly, no Walking Dead tonight–yeah, that mid-season break is kinda lame–but I guess I can just use that time to knit more dishcloths with the yarn I bought.

This will be short–our TV shows (Once Upon a Time, The Walking Dead, and Hell on Wheels) start in 10 minutes–but I hope everyone had a good holiday. My four day weekend was great, full of my favorite things: knitting, Dollhouse, Dexter, video games, and, of course, Jim. I’m kinda bummed to have to start another week working 11 hour days.

Oh, well. One thing I wanted to mention. I know I’m not the only person who has quit World of Warcraft because of money reasons. (Although I think I’m one of the few whose laptop just can’t handle it anymore.) Over the weekend, I decided to check out Runes of Magic, which, I had heard, is very much like Warcraft, except free.

So I downloaded it. And I can attest that it is very much like Warcraft, which I was happy with. Granted, it also overheats my laptop the way Warcraft does, but at least I’m not losing $15 a month for a game I can’t play. Because I can’t play more than 15 minutes before my laptop shuts down on me, I haven’t gotten very far in Runes of Magic–my toon is only level 6 or something like that–but this is what I’ve noticed so far:

• Music. It’s just not that great. Put it on mute and let good, old fashioned Pandora do the mood-setting for you.
• You can only play either a human or an elf, from what I’ve seen so far. That kinda sucks.
• However, there is way more customization of your character. I love that.
• You get a ton more gold in the starting quests–I think my girl already has almost 2,000–and you get dailies up front. Also, you get a mount up-front–but you “borrow” it.

Normally, I do most of my posting either on Wednesday or Friday nights, since that’s when Jim is usually out with his friends. But Friday night, I got caught up in blocking more of those squares for the baby blanket I’m knitting, listening to the Geek Girls Network podcast, and playing Facebook’s Sims Social.

If you know me at all, that last one should sound really weird.

Jim looked at me like I had grown another head when I told him I was trying it out. Previously, all he’s ever heard me say about The Sims was that it looked stupid. I’ve decided to give it a shot because 1) I desperately want a new game to fill the gaping hole that Warcraft left behind, 2) everyone claims it’s so great, and I really shouldn’t knock things I’ve never tried (unless it’s LARP–everyone should get a freebie on that one), and 3) it’s FREE.

The FREE really got me.

The Sims Social, however, has not.

“I don’t think I’m doing it right,” I complained to Jim. “I’m just clicking on stuff. She eats. She plays her guitar. She even goes to the bathroom. What am I supposed to be doing?”

“You’re doing it,” Jim said flatly.

That’s it? There’s nobody to shoot? I can’t even build additions to the house–the one part I think I would like in the game–because you have to have friends play it, and I refuse to send friend requests for a game. Argh! And what’s even worse is that these Sim people are NAGS. I logged in last night, and my Sims girl’s little happiness level had dropped, she was sighing dramatically, and hinting that she wanted to go visit someone. “Tough luck, bitch!” I told my little Sim chick, and I forced her to go play on the computer instead. If I have to sit at home alone, so do you!

Needless to say, it didn’t take too long for me to log out, hunt down Angry Birds, and play that instead. Smashing snorting little pigs is way more satisfying.

Anyway, that’s been the theme of my week: games. Honestly, that’s been the last few weeks–trying to find a game that I can’t put down. I’ve played some Fable II, and now my character has a husband and a kid. By the way, a game that includes the sex noises for making said baby? Yeah, I’m not a fan of that. I was with Jim when he was helping me marry my character off to another man, so he was also there for the wedding night. I was a little embarrassed.

(For someone who loves dirty jokes, I’m oddly prudish about such things. Weird, I know.)

Still, I’m not finding myself addicted to the game. I’ll go weeks without playing it. I’ve been spending a lot of time searching for other games that I think I would like on the XBox 360. So far, here’s what I’m eyeing:

Dance Central 2

Shut up and dance!

Honestly, any of the dance games, since I’m too ignorant to really know one from the other. I remember I used to love Dance Dance Revolution, but alas, being in a second floor apartment means jumping around isn’t a good idea. I’ve been looking some of the videos up on You Tube, and this game doesn’t look like it has too much jumping, but it still keeps you moving. Acceptable alternatives: Just Dance 3 and Zumba Fitness. I’ve heard that Zumba is a ton of fun.

Alas, I need a Kinect for these games. But if I had one, I would also totally get number 2…

Rise of Nightmares

Rise of Nighmares...or Rise of Barf?

I’ve heard that this game is really gory. Nothing to get you out of the dancing mood like an axe in the face.

To be fair, I don’t know if there are any axes involved. I just know there’s blood. Lots and lots of blood.

Anyway, the idea of a horror game with the Kinect intrigues me. However, I’ve seen some pretty bad reviews of it, so I’m thinking that for this game, I’m gonna wait until it hits the cheap bins.

Assuming I ever get a Kinect to play it with, anyway.

So are there any non-Kinect games I want? Oh, yeah. And Jim’s gonna kill me, but here’s one that I think looks like it has promise…

Final Fantasy XIII

She will cut your FACE.

My knowledge of the Final Fantasy games mostly comes from the anime community, back when I used to go to the ACen conventions. Anime fans love this stuff. They just eat it up. And even though I had never played the games, I always recognized the characters. How could I not? People cosplay them everywhere.

So, one day, back in the days of my Playstation 2, I picked up Final Fantasy X-2.

I was not impressed.

However, I had also heard that X-2 was not the game I should base my impressions of Final Fantasy on. I’ve heard the others were better. Couple that with the glowing review I read just last night of Final Fantasy XIII–and the super awesome graphics, which I’m a sucker for–I’m thinking that I’m definitely willing to give it another shot.

Of course, all this depends on me actually getting enough money in the savings to feel comfortable enough spending some on non-essentials. It took me three weeks to fork over two bucks for lotion, just because I figured I could live without it, so I shouldn’t be spending that money. The car still needs new break pads and an oil change; Jim’s dad still needs to be paid back. Until then, I’ll stick with my knitting. Yarn is only, like, 5 bucks.

And the XBox just cannot beat a deal like that.

*Note: I just realized that I totally stole the title “Gamer’s Paradise” from Jim. Somehow, I think he’ll forgive me. I hope!

I am beyond stressed. Getting s’mores at work today didn’t even help.

Oh, yeah, we TOTALLY got s’mores. My job can be so awesome sometimes.

But still. Stress! There’s the recent stuff, of course, that I’ve dwelt on enough and don’t feel like dwelling on anymore.  Unfortunately, the doctors keep me dwelling on stuff by having me come into the office to check to make sure those pregnancy hormones are going down after the miscarriage. Initially, my levels were something like 1400, and by Monday, they dropped to 400. Weirdly enough, if I took a pregnancy test right now, it would probably still come up positive.

Yeah. Weird. But since the levels are still not around the 0 mark, I’ve got to come back in a couple of weeks to get blood drawn again.

Anyway, leaving early the last two days = make up time today, which is just time over that is straight pay and not overtime pay. I HATE THAT. I like my overtime money. I like it a lot.

But back to stress. Today was  just a bad day at work, s’mores be damned. I learned a new workflow that I thought would net me more closures, but then they turned around and said we couldn’t use it. The tech who told me was so bummed about it, she needed one of my Jolly Ranchers to cheer her up, heh. Apparently, the s’mores didn’t cut it for her, either.

And then Jim kept texting me because he was freaking out. He was trying to get signed up for fall classes and found out that he’s not eligible for financial aid this year. I’m not surprised; I warned him that once we got married and they figured in my income, he probably wouldn’t be eligible because I “make too much money.” HAHAHA. Anyway, that wasn’t shocking, but they turned around and told him they “wouldn’t do” government loans either. Huh? What the hell?

Oh, and by the way, they told him, the money is due tomorrow.

I was pretty pissed about this. When Jim submitted everything, the e-mail he got said that the financial aid office was supposed to get ahold of him if they needed anything else. They did need other stuff. They did not get ahold of him. And they were only now telling him this because he went down there to ask them about it, and they were telling him the day before the due date. And it was looking like he wasn’t going to be able to go to school for the fall.

So, Jim was freaking out. I tried to reassure him by telling him that he could just dedicate himself to writing until the spring semester. He kept texting me, though, and it was freaking me out because I know that Jim hates that he’s not working, and the only thing that has been keeping him sane was knowing he’d be in school full time soon, and that going to school does, in fact, contribute to our household’s future. I worried another six months of no work and no school would drive him into depression.

But then he told me that his dad paid for it. His dad is telling him that we’ll only owe him half the money, since he helped pay Jim’s siblings’ college.

But…new stress. I hate borrowing money. This is especially how I did not want to start my marriage–borrowing money from my father-in-law. So now I feel compelled to pull even more overtime to get that paid off ASAP. Jim tells me not to kill myself over it, but…I don’t know…Jim’s mine to take care of now, ya know?  MINE.

And then there’ s stress that comes with the fact that Jim and I are fighting more than usual. Even though I know it’s been totally the clash between the pregnancy hormones and the Chantix, it still sucks. Luckily, Jim will be done with the Chantix in about a month, so that should help a lot. And, of course, my pregnancy hormones are dropping. I should be back to “sane” level fairly soon.

But I had to admit something else entirely that had been bugging me for a while to Jim last night. Jim has one big hobby, one thing he loves that keeps him going these days: Warhammer 40K.

And I hate Warhammer 40K.

There. I admit it. And I do. I’m not even sure why. I’ve tried to like it. I listen to Jim talk about his games. I listen to strategies. I look at how he’s painting his little army guys and how he’s adding modifications to them. They’re very cool.

But I hate them. I hate Jim’s little army guys. I think they’re boring. I think they’re cocky-looking little assholes that are overpriced and suck up too much of Jim’s time and energy. I hate hearing about the guys that Jim plays with. Some of them are complete dicks, and about what? Because they have no legitimate lives, so they can dedicate themselves to the stupidest hobby on the planet?

Ugh.

Jim is a good husband–a little too good at times–and immediately offered to quit playing. Which, of course, is dumb. Why do guys tell you they want you to talk about how you feel about something, and when you do, they automatically go into “fix-it” mode? Do that, and I won’t say anything again! Just because I hate Warhammer doesn’t mean that Jim should quit his favorite hobby. That’s dumb. It’s just how I feel about it; it doesn’t mean it’s right or logical or anything.

Really, where it’s getting to me is that I’ve been trying to fit in my overtime around this gaming schedule, and I’m getting resentful of it. When I have to pull a couple of insanely long days just to make sure I get off work as early as possible on other days for these stupid little army guys that I don’t even think are interesting, I get a little annoyed.

So I think Jim and I have agreed that I’m not going to try to “fit in” my overtime around the gaming anymore. The overtime comes first. We’ve  got bills to pay. Still, I’ll try not to pull the nearly 11 hour days on his gaming days. I’m not a complete asshole. But Jim’s going to the comic book store an hour later than he usually would have isn’t gonna kill him, either.

Here’s hoping that’s the case, anyway.

One day I’m gonna write a happy post again. I really am.

Hey, did I forget that I (for the most part) wrapped up scarf #1?

Scarf #1.

Yup. This is my scarf that I made to get me back in the swing of knitting. And, of course, is one of the five scarves I’m making to satisfy my goal at work. I still feel like my tension is off, and some things are not as easy as I remember (namely binding off), so the next one will probably be knitted too. Except that I’ll work some purls in there as well.

And since we’re in picture sharing mode, I thought I’d post this one:

Anime girl.

Thanks to waybackmachine.org, I found an ancient doodle I did while waiting for my ex-husband to get up and get dressed one morning. And I thought it was lost forever. I know I didn’t keep it. I mean, who keeps their doodles?

Waybackmachine.org, that’s who.

Anyway. All’s well here. It started off rocky on Monday. Actually, it started last Friday. I was crabbier than usual, which didn’t really let up over the weekend, and Monday, when I sat down to work, I realized I was in an abnormally bad mood–seriously, I’m in a good mood most of the time–and that what I really needed was a “me day.” Since Jim’s and Karac’s game folded, Jim’s around all the time. And while I love him, as I’ve mentioned a bazillion times before, I require more alone time than the average person. So, on a whim, I requested PTO for Tuesday. To my surprise, it was approved.

And it was glorious. Tuesday, I did nothing but surf the Internet, watch TV (Charmed! Supernatural! Angel! The Last Unicorn!), knit, and eat cookies. And, apparently, that is exactly what I needed because I was in a much better mood the rest of the week, even with overtime. Jim and I even skirted some sensitive topics later that week, and when he started looking nervous, I said, “Relax. I’m not mad about it or anything. Just want to talk.”

So, yeah. My “Prevent a Mental Breakdown Day” was so successful, I’m thinking of making it a regular thing. That is, unless Jim does another game with his friends. Because if I get Friday nights alone to recharge again, I might be okay with just that.

On that note–gaming, that is–Phil is talking about starting up a Birthright game, to which he invited me last night. I thanked him because that was nice of him, but I’m going to see how it pans out. If they need more players, sure, I’ll play. Jim is always wanting me to do more stuff with him and his friends, and I’ve heard that Phil runs good games. But Phil’s game would also be a good opportunity for me to have my alone time if Jim goes to it alone, and frankly, I think the guys enjoy having “guy only” time. I would, too, if I were them. No having to watch what you’re saying or doing or edit past stories because someone’s girl is there? Yes, please.

Anyway, I’m going to get going because I hear lots of thunder. Not sure what the posting schedule will be like next week, as Jim will be starting school full-time on Monday (yesterday was his last day at work!), so he’ll probably need the computer more for papers and stuff. That’s okay. More time to crochet and knit and read the books from A Song of Ice and Fire series, right?

Everyone keeps asking me how married life is going. Usually, I answer, “I haven’t screwed it up yet!” Then they laugh and walk away.

Here is the truth: Married life, so far, is so awesome and amazing, it’s beyond words.

I know what you’re thinking. I’ve only been married two weeks, right? Well, I will have you know that with my first marriage, I knew something was wrong within the first week. By five months, I was already considering divorce. But I hated the idea of divorce, so I pushed on. I pushed on for twelve freakin’ years.

Just a note: It’s probably not a good idea to marry to someone that you hadn’t seen in seven months because he joined the military. Military is good about giving you discipline and all that, but it does change you.  By the time I realized this, it was too late. I was married to a man that I no longer knew.

But forget all that. That’s old stuff. The other night, I started to tell Jim about how I had been worried, but everything is different with this marriage–this is what marriage is supposed to be. I was about to say more, but he stopped me. “I know it’s different,” he said, smiling. “I’ve never seen you so happy. It’s very reassuring.”

I’m hoping the first couple of weeks are an indicator of things to come.

Speaking of being happy, this reminds me of Melme’s last post. She mentions that currently, she lacks the desire or energy to do anything she usually enjoys, and I joked about it being depression because I was like that through most of my adult life. It is one of the signs of depression. I don’t think that’s Melme’s case–I hope it isn’t–but I know it was in mine. And I realized the other day, I must be happier because now I want to do EVERYTHING. Now, I want to do so many things that I don’t have time to do. I remember several years back, moaning on my Myspace that I had lost interest in all my old crafting interests, but it wasn’t like I had replaced them with new interests. I simply wasn’t interested in anything.

But now? I just tried writing out my current obsessions, and it got so confusing, that I’m going to have to put them in a list format for readability:

• Crocheting the Lego Pirate Ship blanket. This one, believe it or not, is actually nearing the final stages. IT IS HUGE.
• I just started knitting a scarf. Hello, knitting, how I’ve missed you! How this project came about: We have something called a “DAP” at work, which is a personal goal. We will be rated on it, and it will count towards our yearly review. They said it can be anything; our company wants to emphasize the importance on self-improvement of any kind, and that can be outside of work. In fact, they encouraged it being personal. Some people chose weight loss; many chose to read more books; me, I said that I have a hard time completing projects, so I wanted my DAP to be to complete 5 scarves by the end of the year. Then, I’ll donate them to charity. People seem to think my DAP is a cool one, and I cannot lie: I’m exited about it.
• All things related to A Song of Ice and Fire series. I’m finding it harder to put the books down. I’m still only on A Clash of Kings, but when Phil was over, I kept sneaking away to read it. (Well, I also snuck away for a nap. I’m not very sneaky; Jim and Phil knew exactly what I was doing.) I’ve also become a huge fan of the subsequent HBO series, Game of Thrones. I’m loud enough about it that I got an IM from a co-worker the other day, asking me about it–and have managed to convert him into a fan too.
• Learning to sew. I can’t sew, but I do have Sewing for Dummies that I keep flipping through, while eyeing my unused sewing machine, trying to figure out how that monster works. I already know I want some nice, heavy curtains for my bedroom. Also, sometimes, I sneak and watch sewing videos. I think I’m good at sneaking about this–I’m pretty sure Jim has no idea.
• Cross-stitching. I WILL conquer the shaky hands and the permanent blur in the left eye! I WILL.
• Websites! Ah, an old love of mine. The problem? I don’t have the software I used to have to create images. (I used to have Dreamweaver for actually creating websites, but I don’t need that–I can code by hand, even though it’s been a while.) I really want to update the look of this blog. Also, Jim and I have an itch to take my other URL, chaoticspring.com, and do some stuff with it. Except for that, we’ll need some contributers who are good at writing genre fiction. We already have a couple people in mind.
• Getting back to writing. Not unrelated to the last bullet point. I don’t know how well I would do at genre fiction. Heck, I don’t know how well I’d do at writing. I’ve always been complimented on my writing, but my stories were always just me working through my own issues. (Unsurprisingly, I wrote a lot about women in unhappy marriages, heh.) But now, I’m SO happy, I’m stuck. And I don’t know if I have what it takes to write anything other than literary fiction. But I want to try.
• Gaming. Okay, more Jim’s thing than mine. But his and Karac’s Marvel game recently (and abruptly) ended, so Jim has mentioned to me that he would like to run a Deadlands game–and he wants me in it. And, honestly, it wouldn’t hurt for me to be a  little more social, get to know my new husband’s friends better. Jim’s shooting for the fall, I think, but this time, I’d like to actually flip through the books prior to the game starting so I have an idea what it’s all about.

I also woke up thinking about how I needed to finish leveling Alsana to 85…and how I would like to try my hand at Jim’s XBox games. But you see how, with the size of this list, and the mandatory overtime we’ve had all week (including a divisional Saturday yesterday), I haven’t had time to do much with any of them.

Speaking of having no time, I really need to get this day started. It’s already after 10. I’m sure Jim would like to be up by now, and I really need to do laundry at some point, too. Preferably, before Game of Thrones!

By the way, if anyone else is looking for a short series to lap up, I highly recommend Joss Whedon’s Dollhouse. Oh my god. OH MY GOD.

Okay, how about talking about non-wedding stuff? Well, first let me get this out of the way: With the exception of shoes, I have my entire wedding outfit. Kind of a cream-colored shirt with a little lace. The shirt is kinda pleated in the front. I’ve got a brownish (?) sweater to go over it, then there’s a belt that came with the shirt, and a white peasant skirt. Honestly, I don’t know if this all “goes” together, but Jim swears it does, and he’s probably better with clothes than I am. I mean, hey, he used to LARP. I figured that while the rest of us non-LARPers might find it a strange hobby, LARPers probably have a better sense of fashion than the rest of us, since dressing up is something they do in their off-time.

At any rate, the point is that Jim likes it. So it doesn’t really matter if it does or doesn’t go together, now, does it?

Speaking of LARP, here’s an example of a crazy-small world: The woman behind me at work was looking at Facebook during her lunch. She told me she was looking at pictures of her niece–dressed up as a vampire.

Light bulb. “A vampire?” I repeated.

“Yeah,” she said, sounding almost a little embarrassed. “She plays some game…”

“Vampire the Masquerade?” I asked. “Does she LARP? Live action role-play?” I explained when she looked confused for a moment.

“Yeah!” she said.

I explained to her that my fiancé used to do it when he was younger. She admitted her niece was in her 30s, and I reassured her that plenty of older people did–it’s just that Jim mostly liked it when he was younger and not so much now. She seemed to be more confident once I told her that while, yeah, I think it’s an unusual hobby (and, admittedly, one I like to make fun of on occasion), truthfully, it’s not much different than those Civil War enthusiasts doing their thing or dressing up for Halloween.

“I’m of the opinion that life is too short to worry about what other people think of your hobby. If you want to do something and it’s not hurting anybody, then you should do it.” I paused. “Except for child molesters. They shouldn’t do what they want.”

She laughed. I think she was relieved I didn’t think her niece was a weirdo. And, c’mon, her niece is married woman with a baby and works as a NURSE. Which, as we all know, is one of the most hardest, thankless jobs ever. Dude. If ever there was a woman who needed a way to relieve stress, there you go. The woman helps to SAVE LIVES. Let her pretend to be a vampire.

That being said…I wouldn’t be caught dead doing it, heh.

(I did see the girl’s pictures as a vampire, though. Very pretty. I tried to find out if she was someone Jim knew, but as it turned out, she wasn’t.)

Okay, so that was…quirky. Let’s keep going on the game front, since we’re on that topic, anyway. Jim’s and Karac’s Marvel game was cancelled two weeks in a row. Ben is threatening to quit. (I can personally attest to this because I heard said threats when Jim and I met him and the Boyscout–er, Matt–for dinner the other night.) Jim is worried that if Ben quits, the game will fold.

I’m of two minds of this:

1) Yay, I will get Jim for Friday nights.

2) Boo, I won’t get my time alone.

Jim lately has been feeling torn between hanging out with his buddies on Fridays and hanging out with me. I have gotten to where I miss him, but I don’t know. It seems to me a little bit of missing is good for a relationship. Also, I don’t want him to lose all his old friends just because he’s with me.

Jim’s finally come out and admitted he would like me to game with them sometimes. It would make things easier on him; he wouldn’t feel like he has to choose. To which I’m always, like, “Dude. I have never made you choose.” In fact, most Friday nights, he debates whether or not he should skip, and I always convince him to go.

I sometimes do miss the D&D game we had, but Marvel? Not really my cup of tea. Also, I think the boys enjoy having a girl-free night. It’s probably healthy for them. Much like it’s healthy for me to have my alone time. Sooooo…yeah, I gave Jim a lot of non-committal grunts, but I just don’t see that happening.

NEXT–I got a haircut. My hair was so freaking long. The last time I got it cut was before Jim and I even started dating–over two and a half years ago. I don’t think he’s even realized how much shorter it was back then. At any rate, it’s still long, but there’s a few inches off it. Also? I got bangs.

Bangs

(By the way, I originally wrote this without the picture. Then I realized I couldn’t really complain about my hair if I didn’t show you what I’m talking about. Oh, yeah–and my hair isn’t really that straight. That’s all thanks to a flat iron.)

Honestly, I wouldn’t have opted for the bangs. They’re too much trouble. Jim, however, thinks bangs are cute, so I got them. And…I’m not sure how I feel about them. For one, I told the girl that I didn’t want a lot. If I had to get bangs, I wanted something, you know, kinda wispy.  What I got wasn’t wispy, was way shorter than I wanted it, but Jim seems to like it, and let’s be honest. It’s not like it’s not going to grow back.

It’ll probably just take some getting used to.

What else, what else…OH. GAME OF THRONES WAS AWESOME. I love the casting so far. And this reminds me of Kyle and Zach, since they’re the two from whom I had first heard about this series–I wonder if they watched it? Or, more importantly, if they liked it?

Probably. There were a lot of boobs. You know how guys are about boobs, heh.

Okay! When I start talking about the plethora of cleavage on TV, I think that’s a sign that it’s time for me to quit writing. Until next time!

(Which, admittedly, will probably just be tomorrow, haha.)